Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
