I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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