I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think my moral compass just broke
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
