Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
