with your own penis?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
