So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize