the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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