Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
