I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
