My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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