That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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