My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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