The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
