he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize