i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
