I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
