Already got asked if we're dating
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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