I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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