This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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