Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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