I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
