eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
