Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
