So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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