what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
