Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
