If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
