Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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