I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
