i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
