I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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