she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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