her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
