Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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