I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
