did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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