I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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