before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
