I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize