She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
