He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
