47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
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She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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