i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
