I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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