is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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