Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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