awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
