You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
