wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
