I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize