So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
