I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
