I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
