Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
