Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
His hands were made for my vagina.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
