I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
