I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize