making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
