Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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