You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
