I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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