Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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