Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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