so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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