idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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