oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Rumble strips road head = magical
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
