Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
