That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
