uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
