I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
